Taking Courage

It has been a very full few weeks. But to start off, I have some more details that I can give you! Over the last couple of weeks I have now received expectation forms for both my time in Cuba and in Costa Rica, these explain more about the country, what I’ll be doing and what to expect, as well as what will be expected of me while I am there. 

In Cuba I will be living with Delvis, a Baptist pastor, his wife Vivienne and their two children, a little boy of 9 months and a 4 year old girl. For those of you who have seen me around small children, you can imagine my delight upon hearing this news! The picture below is of the sign in front of their church. My interest in youth work has been communicated to Delvis, but the various opportunities available to me will be clear once I arrive and we sit down and discuss them. Delvis is currently studying English with Hollie (Latin Link Short-Term Coordinator or STC) in order to pass an exam that will allow him to travel to and study in the UK- living with him and his family will be beneficial for both of us as we can practice and learn each other’s language. I’m also relieved that I will have at least one person to speak in English with! The town I will be living in- Cotorro- is quiet and friendly, and has bus links into Havana centre. 

Particular details are still being worked through on the Costa Rica side of things, including visa details and costs and what course I will be studying at Bible College. Again, I will be living with a host family, although as time goes on I may have the opportunity to move in with friends I make there. Internet access will not be an issue the way it will be in Cuba, where it is under-developed and expensive, as most homes have internet and there are plenty of internet cafes that I can use. I don’t know where exactly I will be staying, but it is most likely to be in San Jose, the capital city of Costa Rica.

Because of my plans to study at a language school and then study at Bible College, as well as the fact that I am moving country which means more flights, there are a lot of extra costs involved in my Stride placement. I have also been informed that I am expected to attend Latin Link’s International Assembly in Ecuador in February next year. In isolation, I would love to go and visit Jim Elliot Country and attend the conference, but by that point I will only have been in Cuba for a few weeks maximum and it also means more money to come together before I go. I know that my God cannot be anything but faithful, and that because He is the one calling me to do this that He will provide, but at the same time there is still a lot of money that needs to come together in a very small amount of time and I am finding it very difficult to trust God completely i.e. in a way that means I’m not stressed or anxious about it! 

   Last week, I was fretting over finances and how to communicate the need and that evening I was continuing reading through Exodus and I came to 25:2 where God is speaking to Moses about contributions required for the building of the tabernacle:

“Speak to the people of Israel, that they take for me a contribution. From every man whose heart moves him you shall receive the contribution for me.” Exodus 25:2 (ESV)

I can have confidence knowing that firstly, I am not asking on my own behalf, because everything that is given is being given back to God, to whom it all belongs to Him in the first place, and that it is He who moves people’s hearts. 

It is also just beginning to hit me how little time I have left before I leave. I am so excited about what God has done so far and what He is going to do, but fear of the unknown and of leaving everybody behind is starting to set in. I know that I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control, and so I am doing my best to hand over these fears to Jesus, knowing that he understands exactly what I am feeling. This is the verse that I am holding onto right now: 

“The following night the Lord stood by him and said, “Take courage, for as you have testified to the facts about me in Jerusalem, so you must testify also in Rome.” Acts 23:11

 Paul had longed for so long to go to Rome and be with the church there, but he had no idea when or how or if that would eventually happen. I know that I’m not going to Cuba to appeal to Caesar, but the fear is there all the same. When I first began telling people about what God had asked me to do, so many times I was told how brave I was and at the time, I didn’t feel I was being brave at all, but now I understand. When I first read this verse, it was the phrase “the Lord stood by him” that caught my attention. I know that as I go to testify to the gospel of Jesus Christ in Cuba, as I have done in Edinburgh and Fife, that He will never leave me nor forsake me and that I can take courage because of that.

We walk by faith and not by sight

This verse pretty much sums up the last month or so of my life. SO much has happened and there have been so many ups and downs, but I'll try to give you a brief insight into what has happened.

In my last post, I mention that the only other LL worker in Cuba, Hollie, is returning to the UK next summer for at least 6 months. We found out in September that LL were not happy to let me stay on without her in the country and so plans had to be adjusted slightly, the options included variations of delaying my Stride to do bible/langauge training, going to another country before or after some time in Cuba or going out independently. I decided to look back over the past year and see exactly what God said and what He did, and what that could imply for this situation. I came to the conclusion that Cuba in January 2014 was still the right thing to do and so we began to move forward from there.
  The day I found out I definitely couldn't do 2 years in Cuba was actually the day that all of my friends returned to university, and so it was a really difficult few days for me. I didn't understand what was going on and circumstances didn't seem to be lining up with what I thought God had been saying. I had put so much on the line to obey God and everything seemed to be falling apart, my faith was being pushed to its outermost limits and I fought hard to push away the doubts that were coming at me from every direction. I want to share with you something I wrote in that time:

God, where are you?
I know you are here in this situation, but I can't see you.
I don't know what to do,
Nothing seems certain anymore,
My faith is being attacked on all sides.
I don't trust myself to discern anything anymore.
I feel lost,
Where are you, Jehovah-Rohi?
No distinguishable path lies before me,
  where do I go?
The future has vanished before me,
  all is fog and uncertainty.
The LORD is my light and my salvation,
  but only darkness lies before me.
You brought me here, Father
Don't leave me.
I followed you here, lead me onward
I've sought to hear and obey your voice,
  now hear my cry of desperation and my plea for the salvation of your mighty right hand
El Roi, you see me and you care
Your plan is still intact
I am small and weak and broken
Uphold me, don't let me sink, Jesus
Hold me, comfort me and lead me in your will
You are beyond my wildest imaginings,
Your plan and purpose are outwith my understanding.
I cannot escape your grace or steadfast love towards me,
All that is happening is a product of that grace and love,
  forgive me LORD, for my lack of trust and faith
Even though I am unsure of what is happening or what to do,
 I am sure of you.
Creator, sustainer, provider, Father
Shepherd, banner, healer, Friend
King, comforter, deliverer, Saviour
Loving, just, patient strong
Sovreign, wise, vast, mighty Lord.
YHWH, you will wait with me.

That Friday, I had a call from the LL Scotland Coordinator to check how I was. We spoke for a bit about how I'd felt that week before talking about how we could move forward. I told him that I'd come to the conclusion that it was still God's plan for me to go to Cuba in January, and then he went on to tell me that the LL International Director had been laying out some objectives for the next few years and one of them was to have three ([more]? I can't remember!) LL workers in Cuba within the next four years. I knew this was God's way of letting me know that He was still in control of this situation and that I was to trust Him. We then spoke about possible options that stemmed from going to Cuba in January, one of which was going on to study at a bible college in Central America.
 The next morning I got a letter from the university, not only letting me know that I had been withdrawn, but also that I was eligible to graduate with a Diploma in Higher Education. I hadn't been expecting to be given anything so I was absolutely OVER THE MOON! I get to graduate with a gown and everything! God was again confirming that He was in control and that I could trust Him.
  Just over a week later when I had decided that I would study at a bible college in Central America, and we were looking at options in Guatemala, more complications came through. I couldn't go to Guatemala in August'14 and finding accommodation in Cuba was looking tricky. A few weeks previously I had been helping out at a LL event and had been speaking to one of their missionaries in Costa Rica, we had a great conversation and he said that he and his wife would be happy to have me if I ever needed somewhere to stay in Costa Rica- even before the complications regarding Guatemala came through I had been thinking about this and had a hunch that it was going to be significant in one way. It turned out that there were a couple of bible colleges in Costa Rica which LL would be happy for me to go to, and God once again was shutting another door in order to point me in the right direction. However, we were still waiting to hear about accommodation in Cuba- if they couldn't find a placement that could offer a host family, then I wouldn't be able to go.
  Last Saturday night, the night before my first speaking event at a church, I got a text through to say that they had found somewhere! I was prepared to go and speak, and just be honest about still not knowing the plans, but God in His grace showed again that His timing is perfect, and I was able to give the news to the church hot off the press!

So, to summarise: In January 2014 I will be going out to Cuba to stay in a place called Cotorro which is south-east of Havana where I will live with a pastor and his family and work within their church. I probably won't know exactly what I'm doing until I get out there, but that's all part of the excitement! In ~July I will then travel to Costa Rica where I will spend the remainder of my 2 years, doing further Spanish study and then doing a year long course at a bible college there, probably with a focus on work with children and young people. It's been a very bumpy time, but I can say with certainty that God's purpose has been in it all, and I am so excited that He has this plan for me and that He has blessed me with the privelege of serving Him in this way!

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose"

-Jim Elliot

The Beginning

Just over a year ago, I arrived back home after spending three weeks in Cuba on Christian mission with Latin Link, a mission organization who send people to and receive people from Latin America. The year since can only be summed up by Ephesians 3:20, God is able to do far more abundantly all that we ask or think. At no point in my life could I have imagined what God would be doing in my life, that I'd be leaving my chemistry degree at the University of Edinburgh behind to go and serve God as an overseas missionary. Only three years ago I thought I would be studying music with education at either RCS or Aberdeen to go on and be a music teacher- there is a quote from Woody Allen which says:

                                   "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."

How gracious God is towards us as we blaze on through life pursuing our own plans and ambitions, to then gently lead us in His purpose and fulfil dreams we weren't even able to dream ourselves! God's plan for us is always infinitely better than anything we could ever come up with, and yet sometimes I know I am foolish enough to tell God what I want is best and not trust in my Father who knows what is truly best for me.

I have been accepted onto Latin Link's Stride programme which is an individual mission placement for any length of time between 6 and 24 months. If you want to know more about how all of that came to happen, including leaving university, you can read about that in my BIG NEWS entry on my other blog, Distinctive?. I feel God has called me to do this placement in Cuba, an amazing country in which I firmly believe God is doing a real work. Since the 1990s there has been a huge increase in the Protestant-Christian population as people are finding a freedom they have never known through the Lord Jesus Christ who died to set them free. Recognising the mass increase of Christianity, the government began to put restrictions in place in an attempt to curb the movement but, hallelujah, God is bigger than any restrictions the government can make and He continues to pursue lost souls and share His love through His children. Many of those coming to Christ are among Cuba's youth and one of the most exciting parts of being there last year was being a witness to the impact Jesus us having in the lives of these young people and how He is raising them up to teach and equip His church in Cuba.

However, there are a few complications with me going to Cuba and the most major of these is the visa process. As many of you will know, Cuba is regarded as a communist state and this means that visas are more difficult to obtain than in a lot of places. I will first apply for a 30 day religous visa (which we had last year) which will then be extended by 6 weeks and then 6 months, Lord willing. After that period I will be eligible to apply for residency. It is possible that I could be rejected at any of these points. Another issue is that Hollie, the Short-Term Coordinator in Cuba for Latin Link (and the only other LL worker in Cuba) who will be my mentor, is returning to the UK for 6 months next September, meaning that I will have no in-country support from LL. Between these two complications, it is possible that I won't be able to spend my whole placement in Cuba, either moving to or being based in another country within Central America.

With these things in mind, I would really value your support and prayer:

• My visas and the working out of my placement. Stride placements in Cuba are not common place and so there are some uncertainties that need ironing out, please pray that God would have me where He wants me, where I will be able to glorify Him most and serve the local church best. Please pray that the Lord would go ahead of me and bless my visa extension applications and that they will be accepted, but ultimately that His will be done.
• My finances. I have a set amount of money to raise before leaving to cover things such as insurance, flights, orientation etc. and I have to raise a monthly support to cover Latin Link costs and my accomodation and travel expenses. The cost for one year of Stride is generally £8000 but I won't know exactly how much I need until I have specific placement details. Please pray that God would guide me as I seek ways to raise money while glorifying and honouring Him at the same time, and that He would place it on people's hearts to support me financially throughout my time in Cuba.
• My friends and family. As much as we are all aware that God has called me to go, leaving my friends and family behind is not going to be easy, though I am confident that God will supply us with the strength we all need. Please pray that God would bless my time with them before I leave and especially that I would be able to reach out to my unsaved friends and family during this time.
• My relationship with God. Obviously the most important things for me throughout all of this is for my relationship with God to continue to grow and strengthen as He is an will be my real Strength and Provider when I am in Cuba and I will need to fully rely on Him alone. Please pray that God would continue to teach and train me in these coming months and that He would keep me in Him and be my Foundation and Rock. Please also pray regarding my orientation in Reading from the 2nd to 10th of December.

May the Lord God bless you,

Amy