Hello my dear readers, it's been two years since I last posted on here - I'm aiming to start posting again (somewhat) regularly... read on to find out why!
Now, before I start I just want to clarify that these are the reasons that I have decided to leave Facebook, not the reasons I think you should. Facebook can be a great tool for lots of things: connecting with people that you share interests with, buying and selling things, keeping up with friends and family (especially when you live on another continent!) and the list goes on.
However, I think we need to address an issue that isn't readily acknowledged within this, the tech-savvy, had-Facebook-since-I-was-13, generation:
Facebook, social media and technology in general, is addictive and most people who use it are addicted to it, to some degree or another.
Don't believe me? (But let's be honest, you do because we all know this, really) When you see that little notification pop up telling you that another person has liked your status/photo/meme, your brain sends you a little shot of a hormone called dopamine - the same hormone produced as a result of smoking, gambling and alcohol. In other words? It's addictive.
Now, does everyone who smokes, gambles or drinks become addicted? Of course not, but many do. The difference with social media and other technology is that nobody warns you. There's no age limit on it. It's not frowned upon -- at least not by those within our generation. Social media and technology addiction is not addressed, not acknowledged and not taken seriously.
My first experiences of online interaction and social media were Bebo and Windows Messenger (cue: involuntary shudders caused by flashbacks to top 16s, artistic indy "skins" as self expression, other halves, appear offline mode on and off to get your crush's attention, emoticons and the emergence of selfies for profile pictures). I have no idea how many hours I probably spent in front of my computer screen and I'm sure most of my peers were the same: arrive home from school, straight to the computer, eat dinner and back to the computer, shower (brb g2g take a shower) and back to the computer. We were teenagers when the internet really began to take off and we ate it up, having no idea of the way it was shaping our brains and the way it would soon shape our lives and society as we knew it.
At least back then it was limited to the computer, and our addiction was limited to how ever far you were willing to lug your laptop, but it wasn't long before the device that would change it all came along: the smart phone. All at once, we had everything we needed in one device: music, camera, internet and social media, and it all fitted in our pocket (as opposed to the giant phone-tablet hybrids of today...). However, even then, our social media use was limited to wherever we could find a WiFi signal... not now! Now, you can satisfy and fuel your constant need for approval and for distraction wherever you are. Unlimited access. Can you imagine someone with any of the aforementioned addictions having UNLIMITED access to their vice 24 hours a day and anywhere they happen to be?
My peers and I have been slowly but gradually introduced to this addictive habit, with the dosis being upped all the time and nobody bringing it to our attention. Instead, our society is moulding itself around our growing addiction, exploiting and encouraging it, while we carry on pretending that it's healthy to have a device practically glued to yourself day and night.
I'm not saying this is the case with everyone, but I'm sure there will be a significant number of people reading this that have a very similar relationship to technology and social media.
Having now explained my overall reasoning behind my decision to leave Facebook, let me get into what this means for me personally.
Social media, and Facebook in particular as it's the one most people use, has an especially strong appeal for me for two main reasons:
- I live on a different continent to all my family and friends, and social media is the only way to keep up with what they're doing and what's going on in their lives and to have some sort of influence on their lives; I'm not exactly going to bump into anyone in the market!
- As a stay-at-home mum, with no relatives or close friends nearby to call on for support/rest, social media is a form of escapism and connecting to the outside world.
Between these two things and growing steadily more glued to social media/technology from adolescence into adulthood, I find myself looking at my little screen far more than I like. While my 2 year old is vying for my attention or wants to show me something, I have to pry my eyes away from the interesting but nevertheless pointless video I somehow ended up watching. While nursing my baby, I meaninglessly scroll to pass the time.
I don't want my children growing up to believe that this, having your device on you so much of the time it seems like an extra appendage, is healthy behaviour. I would say "normal" behaviour, but sadly this has become normal behaviour for many people, especially the generation coming up behind mine, the generation that have had gadgets and tablets thrust upon their impressionable little selves from toddler-hood, who will know literally know no other way of life. This leads me to another reason.
I don't want this for them. I don't want them to be prisoners to technology, bound to devices and blind to all the countless other things that life has to offer, consuming content that is unhelpful and leads to comparison and discontentment. I don't want them to be swept along by everyone else's opinions and what the media shoves down their throats, but that they would sit down and have real conversations about real issues with their real friends and know how to read and investigate something for themselves in the light of what God teaches us in His Word.
Does this mean that our children won't be allowed to have social media while under our care and responsibility? Possibly, it all depends on where things go in the next ten years, I guess, and what the Lord leads us to decide when that time comes. For now, Eliana (almost 3) has limited TV time and Faith has zero. The next goal is for their mother to lead by example and show them (for that is how we all learn best) how to use technology healthily and appropriately, not to be picking up and checking her phone every minute of the day and leading them to believe that this device has some great importance compared to them. It does not.
Deactivating Facebook (I would delete it but I really need Messenger to keep in contact with family and close friends) is the first step in the process. I've cut down on the amount of video I watch (YouTube and content streaming) and I want that to continue. I want to whittle down the hours I spend looking at a screen so that I can free myself up to read, to be better organised and purposeful in my discipling and training of my children and care better for my home, to study my Bible, to prepare more in-depth for my monthly women's teachings at church and my Sunday school class, and most importantly, to simply be present with my family. Like Jim Elliot famously said: "Wherever you are, be all there!"
While I'm sure mobile technology wasn't what Elliot had in mind when he penned this, it most definitely applies. Although useful and most definitely something we can use for God's glory, technology and social media can be a very big distraction from the things God wants us to pay attention to and the work He has called us to. It's not so easy to hear that still, small voice of the Spirit's fellowship, encouragement and leading when you're giving the world a megaphone into your heart.
The crux of this whole issue is that as a child of God, I have been called to freedom; a freedom paid for by the life-giving blood of Christ, and it is not His will for me to be in bondage to anything, be it social media, technology, TV, food, career or anything else which would enslave us and hinder us in our race. I'll leave you with this verse that the Lord has been laying on my heart for the last few months:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith"
Hebrews 12:1-2
