Before travelling to Ecuador, someone asked me if I would ever marry someone from a culture different to my own. My answer was that marriage is hard enough and communication in a marriage is difficult enough without adding in language and cultural barriers!
Three and a half years later, married to the love of my life who just happens to be from Ecuador, I realise I was totally wrong.
Marriage can be difficult, communication can be difficult, but what makes it easy is not being from the same country, having the same mother-tongue or coming from a similar background.
I can say that I am 100% happily married.
Do we have our issues? Yes.
Do we have misunderstandings? Yes.
Do we disagree sometimes? Yes.
Is our life difficult sometimes? Yes.
But the joy that Josias and I experience in our marriage isn't based on those things (Praise the Lord!).
Josias and I overcome any differences we may have because we have the most important thing in common: our primary goal in life is to please God, and to do that we live it according to what He tells us in His Word.
Not only does this mean that half the time it doesn't make any difference whatsoever that we're from two places that are worlds and miles apart, it means our life together is SOLID. Like the wise man that Jesus talks about in Matthew 7, we are building our life on a rock by obeying His words so that, when storms arise, we remain standing firmly in Christ.
Do our cultures have different opinions on marriage? Yes.
Do our cultures have different opinions on how to raise children? Yes.
So on and so forth.
But we don't base how we do life on what our cultures have taught us, we base it on what God has taught us through His Word and it is He who unites us despite our differences.
Our compatibility as people is no where near as important as our compatibility as believers, as followers of Christ. So maybe sometimes one of has to ask, "what does that word mean?" or challenges the perspective that the other has about a certain issue, but that's the beautiful thing about marrying someone who is different than you; as you spend time with each other, as you become more and more one, you discover that you are an expanded version of the person you were before, a richer version. You teach one another things, you show each other a different way of looking at things, you encourage one another to be the best version of yourself for God. And when the differences are felt, God teaches us about grace, compassion and understanding, He uses the issues we have as a way of sanctifying us and making us more like Jesus.
I love being part of a cross cultural family and being of cross-cultural descent: my paternal grandparents are Scots and Chinese-Malay, my Aunt and Uncle are Scot/Chinese and American, my sister-in-law and her husband are Ecuadorian and German and my brother-in-law and his wife are Ecuadorian and American. There is no way more beautiful to see how Christ unites us as believers than seeing people from vastly different backgrounds bound together in the love they have for him and for one another.
I can love Josias and be the best wife possible for him by loving God more, which as we're told in John and 1 John, means obeying Him. Seek first the Kingdom and His righteouness and all these things will be added unto you; put God first in your life and watch how everything else falls into place and rejoice in the peace that you find.
P.S This post was inspired by the video below!
